she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
