Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?