Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.