3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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