Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips