She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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