no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
