he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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