her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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