I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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