not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
