I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
