This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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