I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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