I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
