maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
