Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
