how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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