My brain says no but my pants say off.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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