i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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