Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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