The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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