Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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