just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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