i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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