I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
