it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
