running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
