I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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