I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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