my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize