i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
