dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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