Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
