he puts the penis in happiness.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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