he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
