i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
