The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
