I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
