On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
