i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
