"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
