i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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