when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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