oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
