I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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