he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
