This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
