I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
