Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
NoShamevember. You game?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
