I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
