my soul wont recognize me after tonight
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
