Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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