Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
