After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
