now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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