I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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