so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
