sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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