So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
