so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
