my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My ass is underappreciated
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
