so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
