Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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