my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
