So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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