I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
