): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
